Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
