The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i wish my penis had a tongue
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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