guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
