Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
