Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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