The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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