she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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