The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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