just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
