that's an acceptable place to lick
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
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Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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