Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
