The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
