Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
