I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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