Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
