super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
