The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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