we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
