That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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