meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
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My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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