i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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