I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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