4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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