You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
