About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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