Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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