Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
