I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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