Please, let me fuck your mom
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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