You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
