We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
