He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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