thus making me awesome and them whores
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
