i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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