Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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