Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
