so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
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I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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