the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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