He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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