just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
