i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
