Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize