no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
