I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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