Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
