sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The police scanner is talking about you again....
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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