I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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