Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
