not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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