? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
