I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
