This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
