I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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