i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Randomize
