everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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