I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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