i need an iv and a liver transplant
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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