i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Pants are for mortals
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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