Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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