STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
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I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?