In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
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He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
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I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.