the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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