therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS