I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
