Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
