He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
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I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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