I'm going to jail i love you
Everything about him screamed your future.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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