Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
nutella sex= disaster
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize