You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
