This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Even my vagina gasped.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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