You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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