Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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