What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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