So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
