I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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