I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
